


my last hello

by palefire12



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depression, Implied/referenced Relationship, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, im crying for my gay child, im so sorry for this okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4531860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palefire12/pseuds/palefire12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: hey<br/>TG: you there<br/>TG: I really need to talk to you</p>
            </blockquote>





	my last hello

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to kill myself like a week ago and this monstrosity was born   
> wow haha im so sorry this isn't even funny okay pls kill me

turntechGodhead [TG] has begun pestering ectobiologist [EB] at 1:57 AM  
TG: hey  
TG: you there  
TG: I really need to talk to you  
TG: please  
TG: okay  
TG: just listen  
TG: please dont hate me for this  
TG: im so sorry  
TG: hey bro before I go  
TG: I wanna give you my last hello  
TG: I don’t believe in goodbyes  
TG: they only bring crying eyes  
TG: please understand that its too much  
TG: I just cant handle life and such  
TG: im starting to feel deaths touch  
TG: been here for too long  
TG: so ill sing you my last song  
TG: but please remember when im gone  
TG: the things runnin through my head  
TG: make me wanna fill myself with lead  
TG: or pop some pills and go to bed  
TG: something wound up wrong with me  
TG: im not the person I wanna be  
TG: and im not what people wanna see  
TG: fuck  
TG: I can barely see my keyboard  
TG: just  
TG: im sorry  
TG: im so so sorry  
turntechGodhead[TG]has ceased pestering ectoBiologist[EB]at 2:16 AM  
EB: Dave?  
EB: Oh my god Dave  
EB: What’s going on?  
EB: Fuck  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] is now an idle chum--

== > Dave: Back the Fuck Up What  
Yeah, okay this does deserve an explanation. Your name is Dave Strider. You’re fifteen years old and you’ve had it with life. You’re sick of hating yourself and feeling like shit for no reason at all. You believe that the most accurate term is depression.

== > Dave: Finally Grow a Pair

This is it. You’re actually doing it this time. Holy shit.

== > Just Do It Already  
You already did, you’ve got two vertically slit wrists, and one bottle of Prozac, and some Oxycodone from Bro’s room went down your throat bout twenty minutes ago and you’re starting to feel it already. You didn’t think it would feel like this though, you thought it would just make you tired and you’d sleep and not wake up ever again but you were wrong, it hurts. It fucking hurts and you kinda feel like puking? This sucks way more than you originally planned. Oh well. Not much you can do about it now. You kinda wanna laugh too? It’s a euphoric feeling filling your head, making you woozy. You can’t feel your fingers anymore and everything is tingly. The drowsiness is getting to you now but you aren’t gonna pass out yet, you don’t know why but you feel the urge to stay awake just a little bit longer. You idly wonder if any of this could pass as ironic.

== > Dave: Hurl

The urge to vomit isn’t suppressible anymore and lurch foreword over the tub and empty your stomach into it. Some came out your nose too. Gross. Your phone keeps buzzing but you can’t answer because you just keep puking. You think you can taste blood. God you’re really tired. So so tired. You lay down on the cool tile, it feels nice. Maybe you’ll just... take a nap here.  
Then, nothing.

== > Dave: Be Panicked Friend

You are john Egbert and you just stole your dad’s car and holy shit holy shit holy shit Dave. You don’t know what’s happening but you think he just sent you his own version of a suicide note in the form of a fucking rap. Of course he would, the goddamn idiot. How could he do this? Why would he do it? You know he hasn’t been having the easiest run with life but you didn’t think it was so bad that he’d try to off himself. You just ran a red light but it’s almost two thirty in the morning and no one is around so you don’t really care. Fuck you aren’t even old enough to be driving.  
You pull up to Dave’s apartment building and rush inside without even turning off the car. You quickly weigh you options between using the elevator or the stairs and choose the first, while it’s slow taking the stairs would take even longer considering the fact that he literally lives in the top floor. You think you’re crying. There’s a man in the elevator, he’s look at you. He keeps fucking looking at you.  
You finally reach the top floor and run to his door shaking the handle but it’s locked, automatically your fists start banging on the wood until it opens. In the doorway is a tall intimidating figure. Bro. you shove past him and start yelling Dave’s name, opening all the doors until you reach the bathroom. This is it. Bro is behind you looking confused. The sink is running. Everything is slow motion from this point on. You open the door and there he is. There’s blood all around him and in the bathtub and a bottle of vodka and two empty pill bottles and fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck no. everything is so overwhelming. You can smell iron and puke, the overhead light is nearly blinding compared to the darkness of the rest of the house and the sound of the water running is ringing through your ears is nearly deafening.  
Before you realize it you’re on your knees and you can feel your body shaking. You’re screaming at bro, telling him to call for an ambulance. You pick Dave up, he’s too light, he weighs nearly nothing, he looks so fragile, thin and pale, much more so than usual. You have him cradled to your chest, trying to keep pressure on his wrists so they might stop bleeding. Fuck. Why did he have to do this? What the fuck was he thinking?  
Suddenly he’s being pried from your arms by a lady in a blue outfit. She’s a paramedic. You don’t want to let go of him but bro is taking your arms and holding them back so the lady can take Dave away from you. You’re screaming again. Bro picks you up, he has a tight grip on you and you can barely move and he just stands there as they put Dave on a stretcher and take him out of the apartment. You can’t do anything and it hurts so much.

== > John: Be Bro

You are now Derrick Strider but you just go by Bro, it’s more convenient. You’re holding onto you’re little brother’s boyfriend or whatever trying to keep him still. You aren’t even sure what’s happening to be honest. Kid came banging on your door at near three in the morning with big watery blue eyes and tear stained cheeks before running you over and screaming for Dave. You weren’t expecting to find the ‘lil man all bloodied up and near dead on the bathroom floor smelling like booze and vomit.  
You knew the kid was struggling with depression, took him to a shrink and got him some pills and someone to talk to cause god knows he wouldn’t talk to you about whatever it was that was bothering him, you thought he was getting better. You were wrong. So very wrong. You aren’t really sure how you’re supposed to be reacting to this but you couldn’t react at all, like it hadn’t completely sunken in yet. John was yelling at you to call nine-one-one and in a daze you dialed the number and gave the details they asked for and waited.  
Now you’re waiting in a private sitting room in the ER praying to a god that you never believed in that Dave would be okay. You don’t know what you’d do without him. That kid is your world, he’s what you live for, he’s your sun and your moon and you would die for him.  
It’s been about an hour or so and John tuckered himself out and is just sitting limp in the chair next to you with his head resting on your shoulder. He isn’t sleeping, just… sitting there all silent, he’s either emotionally exhausted or in shock. This is some pretty heavy shit, you can’t blame him for the way he reacted in the first place. You talked to him a bit after you got here, asked him how he knew and if you could see the ‘note’ witch to your sad and dry amusement was a rap. You may or may not have cried for a minute after that.

== > Bro: Be John

You’re John again. You… you’re tired, you can’t feel anything. You don’t even know what to feel at this point. Should you be sad or angry or guilty or worried? You’re pretty sure you’re supposed to feel all of those things right now but you’re just numb. You feel hollow in a way. You think about letting yourself fall asleep and wake up to find that all of this was a nightmare but you know better, it’s all to rea- the doctor just walked in. You and Bro you’re on your feet in a matter of seconds. The man in the white lab coat looks solemn. He says he has bad news. You can’t breathe, Bro is holding you again, and you let him this time. You sink to the floor, sobs are wracking your body.

Dave is dead.

**Author's Note:**

> just a side note that i planned to make another chapter on the follow up of what everyone went through after dave died but im not feelin it so here it is in short.  
> bro and john become some weird fucked up version of platonic boyfriends (aka moirails) and cry alot and talk about dave and probably kiss sometimes.  
> rose starts drinking to deal with her brother/cousing/whatever the fuck he was killing himself and becomes an alcohlic at age 15 (wow i hate myself for that one)  
> idk about jade thos she prob cried for like 3 years but also tried to be strong for her firends and act like she's okay when really she's dying on the inside (literally bc how can living with a radioactive dog /not/ give you cancer)
> 
> im evil pls come kill me


End file.
